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The Tragedy of Caldesa

Discussing a Momentous Event that Happened in the Company of a Lady


(Translation)

Joan Roís de Corella (auth.)

Peter Cocozzella (trans.)





[1] The pain that afflicts me has come to the breaking point: right now the prospect that, sooner or later, my sadness may come to an end causes me to grieve. My misery surpasses that of the souls accursed in Hell: I feel joy in being sorrowful and gladness in nurturing my sorrow till kingdom come. Whenever death presents itself to my mind stricken with anguish, I refuse to yield because the sensation of losing my life is delightful to me. How, then, can anyone explain the reason for writing about my intense suffering? What sort of paper will withstand enough ink to describe such a sordid deed? Will the air itself allow a voice to take shape and broadcast clearly the magnitude of that sin? Let all Hell break loose and disgorge its unclean spirits! Let all the elements revert to primeval chaos! Let the punishments of the damned be disclosed for all to see! No chance for the world, overwhelmed with terror, to indulge in merry celebrations! I hope the rivers will come to a standstill and the mountains speed by in great turmoil! Won't the seas boil over and spew out the fish to the shores? Won't the sun come to a stop beneath the Earth and its inhabitants? May the sun cease to spread its golden hair, which will remain hidden forever from our sight! No one will any longer count the course of the year by twelve months! Oh that one long night would envelop the ages yet to come!

[2] I would not try to convey by a profusion of words the foulness of such a deed, ugly in the extreme. If described in simple terms, such ugliness will bring with it fierceness and overpowering horror. How can we subject our ears to such abominable words and not feel utterly distraught?

[3] The event took place in that part of the world that to this day bears the name of the comely daughter of Agenor1 -to be specific, it happened within the fierce and warlike province of Spain, in the pleasant and most attractive Kingdom of Valencia. During the reign of King Don Juan, who succeeded a monarch just as worthy as he to be called «The Pride of Troy», there lived in the capital city of the realm an illustrious young woman of unequaled beauty2. In wisdom she surpassed all other maidens. Unmatched she was in her graceful demeanor; so much so that, in view of her merits, it would have been foolish to praise the virtues of any other damsel. After I had devoted a long, doleful period of my life to her service, the lady granted that I, in my weary spirit, should find repose in the coveted haven of her gown.

[4] It would be a long story, indeed, if I should expend my ink and paper in relating the sweet talk of lovemaking that we exchanged as a token of deep affection. My fair lady put on a good show as to how pleased she was with my past service and present conversation. Her very being, she said, was transported into mine; then added that she would surrender in total abandonment to my knowledge and discretion all that she treasured in her free will and private life. But it was not my lot, alas, that I should be the only one to attain Paradise on this Earth. Our peaceful bliss lasted but a short while, after which a knock was heard at the door. The shrewd lady said that right at that time she was expecting someone. She added that with this person she would have to attend forthwith to some matters of great urgency that would not occupy her for very long. She would return without delay. Thus, the rest of the day would be even more peaceful and no one would be able to separate the two of us, whom true love of the highest order sustained in joyful and harmonious dalliance.

[5] Comforted by the hope born of such pleasant news, I was left all alone in the room. She took great care to lock the door securely behind her. I cannot tell whether what made the room so dark was the lack of windows. At two o'clock in the afternoon it seemed that the night with its dark wings had invaded the land. It was as if Apollo had decided to hide his shining face deeming it inappropriate that this house should be in broad daylight at the time when so disgraceful a deed was about to be perpetrated.

[6] In the dark I spent most of this Egyptian day. I was all alone, although in the company of countless thoughts foil of doubts. On the bed I laid my body laden with a heavy burden of deadly apprehensions. Thus, I kept waiting for the restless afternoon to come to an end. Considering that my troubled mind did not allow me a moment of calm, I felt the compulsion to walk about to and fro, pursuing the multitude of my unhappy, vexatious thoughts. As I turned my eyes to a minuscule window that looked into the courtyard, I observed a man, who kept pacing around, taking small steps in an attitude of a person, who is expecting someone. To those who came by and inquired about the beautiful lady, he would answer that she was engaged in a private affair of utmost importance.

[7] I ask all those who may be inclined to listen to me in sympathy: turn to me your merciful attention! Tell me if any of you has felt a pain as intense as mine. Put yourselves in a cheerless mood and consider the sadness that on that afternoon assailed my wretched heart as I wondered what would be the outcome of such a woeful beginning. But, why do I waste my time in search of words commensurate to my grief, knowing that it is impossible to express such a great sadness? At long last, as so little daylight was left that the steeds of Phoebus were prancing in the west beyond the Pillars of Hercules, my tearful eyes were rewarded with the sight of my beloved damsel. I saw her come out of a room just as she was surrendering her body to a lover, exhibiting all the while the gestures, words, embraces, and other manifestations of passion, wanton to the extreme, offensive to all common decency. I will forgo any description of her motions, demeanor, graceful and elegant bearing. My intention at this time is, simply, to make it known that my case surpasses all others in the enormity of my misfortune. And to aggravate the adversity of Lady Fortune toward me, the act of their leave-taking came within the range of my hearing with the sound of the following words: «Good-bye, my little hussy!» The last word was sealed with the smack of a disgusting kiss. That sound pierced my ears with the same hurtful impact as the one that will shock the souls gathered in the Valley on the left side of our Redeemer, when He will say to them: «Be gone, you accursed lot, to the eternal fire!» And this will be the utterance of His last words in this world.

[8] As the lover that had been so beloved was about to leave, the lady regaled him with such a lustful and seductive curtsy that her gown was the only thing that prevented her knee from touching the hard ground. Her beautiful face showed signs of considerable sadness on account of that fellow's departure. She trailed the man's shoulders with a mournful, enamored glance and then leaned against the parapet of a well that could be seen not too far from where she was standing. With dashes of fresh water she tried to erase from her expressive countenance the blotches from the hot flashes she had experienced during the bloodless, that is, pleasurable and exciting battle of Venus. Then she came to the cell of my gloomy prison -namely, the chamber where I lingered. As she opened the door she feigned an expression of great joy from seeing me. The joy she feigned was just as intense as was the real grief she had demonstrated at the leave-taking of the man she had embraced so immodestly.

[9] Her delicate complexion was, to be sure, all in splashes, looking as if a bouquet of roses commingled with lilies had been put together by dirty hands. The man that had been sporting with her was, I must confess, of a type least appropriate to the delicate nature of such a tender young woman.

[10] She asked me if her delay had caused me concern and explained that the chores she was obliged to take care of would have never been accomplished had she not been present physically. O God Almighty! You direct the world in number, weight, and other kinds of measurement; You rule over all creatures in due order!3 Would You now allow your shoulders, infinitely precious, to be nailed, yet one more time, to the narrow post in order to provide appropriate reparation for such sinful blasphemy? I felt infinite pain and turned my eyes downward. My grief gave me cause to fashion, in a trembling tongue, the following laments in two stanzas:



[11] The steadfast Northern Star will move and run,
and the whole sky at once shall fall to pieces,
high in the globe the fire will turn to ice,
and in the abyss the world shall find its center.
Spattered with blood the moon shall show its face,  5
the sun will lose its form in darkness bleak:
you'll see this pass before I serve you again,
and may my body, as you yourself will witness,
come to be tom apart from head to toe
and may it turn to dust, bereft of burial.  10
The Earth should not receive my hapless ashes,
nor lips should move to wish a «Rest in Peace!»
to a soul like mine that is so direly cursed.
May God forbid that I should look on you!

Should I behold you now and call you «Lady?»  15
I'd rather have the year misplace my birthday.
Repulsive let my name resound to all,
if anyone, by chance, refers to it!
Let it be blotted out of reminiscence:
then with the wind my life will blow and vanish!  20
Won't all I was be deemed a piece of fiction?
I'll have no trace of me remain on Earth;
and should but a piece of flesh be left of me,
be it repast of beasts both fierce and wild
till they devour my body bit by bit.  25
Thus, as in many a place I shall be entombed,
the finite realm shall see no trace of me:
no part of me there'll be to resurrect!

[12] By the mournful tone of my words the illustrious lady realized that her egregious deed had come to my knowledge. With profuse tears, sighs, sobs, and a voice fit for the occasion -so gentle and feeble a voice that it is nearly impossible to reproduce it with any accuracy- she responded with the following stanza of unrhymed verses, complementing her words with the usual expressive gestures:



[13]I clearly see that in this worldly sphere
in God's creation I live in sin and guilt:
with horrid sin I have offended you,
such that in Hell can't find a fit redress.
Now death to me would taste as sweet as honey,  5
if I should chance to die in your embrace.
It is your right to take revenge on me:
if you so judge, your hands will give me death,
or, if you wish, I shall be dressed in sackcloth
and, henceforth, roam the world in pilgrimage.  10
God won't undo my past and make it void,
but, if you expect of me to amend my life,
I vow to go the way of Magdalene
and wash your feet as she herself would wash them.

[14] It is foolish to undertake what it is impossible to accomplish. It would hardly be wise, then, for me to try to describe the conflicted feelings that assailed my tormented mind after I heard her respond in such meek and ingratiating terms. How I wished that her gross misdeed could be repaired at the cost of my own life! Oh, if only I could drink my fill from the River Lethe so that, after erasing the past from my memory, I could focus my attention exclusively upon the present! How happy would I be if this beautiful woman could be divided into two parts and her noble person, endowed with subtle understanding would be my portion, while her deceitful and fickle will, swayed by misguided preference, would inhabit an ugly, deformed body to be allotted to the man that had dealt with her in such a scandalous fashion.

[15] Engrossed in the variety of these wishful thoughts, I left the room, nay the sepulcher, where I had endured such a painful experience. I picked up the pen, which often soothes the severe pangs of grief, and depicted the present story with my own blood. Let the color of this ink conform to the sad episode it recounts.





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