|
I clutched a few and carefully tended |
5 |
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myths and entered |
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|
into this territory of submersion: |
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|
north from my childhood |
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|
and from my early stories of each day |
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|
in the land where I grew up (neon-lighted |
10 |
|
|
showcase for underdevelopment)
where we went |
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|
|
to church every Sunday and extracted |
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|
smiles from the boys around the park |
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|
and the teacher told us that the Blessed |
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|
Virgin would cry if we so much as had |
15 |
|
|
an impure thought
(let alone play footsie) |
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|
and we merrily danced and forgot |
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|
that others were not invited to our
clubs: |
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|
suddenly |
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|
that reality was no more |
20 |
|
|
than a crushing distance
the presence was |
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|
|
walls that shouted «you're in America now and
have to |
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|
|
speak American»
and how does one learn |
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|
|
to untalk all the past |
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|
another world would have to be
forgotten |
25 |
|
|
and the journey somehow
erased |
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|
|
to be able to eat breakfast every morning
and |
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|
|
go to school and |
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|
|
pay the bus fare and |
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|
|
read the messages of alienation: |
30 |
|
|
seven or eight times January came
around |
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|
|
before I could walk into a room and feel |
|
|
|
I wasn't really from another planet |
|
|
|
my hair was brown
as it should be |
|
|
|
instead of green |
35 |
|
|
and the accents of the tongue were
forgiven |
|
|
|
by well-meaning hostesses who never |
|
|
|
failed to ask «how do you like it
here?»
and the |
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|
|
the act of gratitude
of intense |
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|
|
repetition of thanks
(which were really sincere
and |
40 |
|
|
wagging-of-the-puppy-tail-like)
and then the cute |
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|
|
and condescending references to talent |
|
|
|
and land of opportunity for all |
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|
|
but I couldn't
(I didn't know the words) |
|
|
|
recite the pledge of allegiance
and so |
45 |
|
|
they made me cross the water |
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|
|
I spent a foreign day in a colorful
sunny |
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|
|
marketplace and bought a big hat and
straw purses |
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|
|
that had embroidery all over and
said |
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|
|
NASSAU, BAHAMAS
and the stewardess |
50 |
|
|
insisted on my drinking Bloody Marys at |
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|
|
seven thirty in the morning
because |
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|
|
the Caribbean was so
blue and |
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|
|
I was coming back forever
to stripes |
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|
|
and amber waves of grain |
55 |
|